Women and Leadership Ted Talk

This compelling talk by Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook makes me sad, mad, inspired and asking myself, "What am I doing to help move women forward in their leadership. I'd be interested to know what you think?

Click here to watch this 15 minute www.ted.com talk. It's great!

The End of Men?

This is a very provocative article on what's happening to men economically and culturally.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/07/the-end-of-men/8135/

Massachusetts Conference for Women

Yesterday I attended the Mass Conference for women along with 6,499 other women. It was a great day of inspiring speakers and workshops. I had two favorite parts of my day; one was listening to Gloria Steinem speak and the other was the workshop I attended on Creating a Culture of Courage. You might enjoy seeing a bit of Gloria Steinem on Youtube. Here is a clip of hers on outrageous acts that I like a lot. Enjoy!

Wake up with Wendy TV November 2010

Celebrating Breast Health is the name of this month's episode on Wake up with Wendy. Lesley Macomber is amazing as she celebrates surviving breast cancer. You can find more of our TV shows on Blip.TV, Youtube, and our Magic Parties website. Enjoy!

Moving Women to the Top

A majority of executives believe gender diversity in leadership is linked to better financial performance, but companies take few actions to support women in the workforce. Read this interesting recent global study by McKinsey & Company.

https://www.mckinseyquarterly.com/Organization/Talent/Moving_women_to_the_top_McKinsey_Global_Survey_results_2686

Wake up With Wendy taping

We taped a new show today on Wake up with Wendy. Lesley Macomber was our guest. Lesley is a breast cancer survivor and shared her story with us. She's an amazing woman with an amazing resiliency. You'll be able to watch her story on our News page on our website in about a week. Stay tuned.

Randi Bussin Career Strategist

Randi Bussin joins me on our TV show this month to help those people who are looking for a job or who want to reinvent themselves. She gives advice to help figure out what work/job is the right one for you, what steps to take first if you want to change careers, and how to make over your career by reinventing yourself by developing a personal brand. Randi shares her six tips to successfully reinventing your career. Check it out; she's great!

Losing Your Mind?

I heard Richard Boyatzis speak last week about Emotional Intelligence at Linkage's Global Institute for Learning & Development where I was newly appointed as coach faculty. He said: When we are under stress, we lose cognitive, emotional and perceptual abilities. We all lose brain neurons all the time, but we lose more of them when under stress, even little stresses like the computer is taking too long to boot up, or someone cuts us off in the car. Our bodies can and do regenerate neurons when we are in parasympathetic state and moments of renewal like meditation, yoga, loving relationships, and acting hopeful about the future.

Start increasing job and happiness in your life if you want to keep your senses and brain power!

Broadway Company of CHICAGO - It Gets Better

This is an inspirational video for those people who are struggling to love themselves just as they are.

What's Stopping You From Reinventing Your Career

Yesterday, I had the pleasure of interviewing Randi Bussin, Career Coach and Personal Branding Specialist, for our TV show, "Wake Up with Wendy." I met Randi Bussin in college and we reconnected several years ago at an ICF (International Coach Federation) event.

Yesterday's show, which will be posted on our Magic Parties website and on blip.tv starting November 1, was about "career reinvention". Randi is a specialist in helping people reinvent themselves, which means change careers, look for the next job, figure out what they want to be next in life etc. She is my "go-to" resource for all things job search and career re-branding related.

During the TV show, Randi shared her tips and keys to success for reinventing yourself in your career and has posted them on her blog.
Take a look.

Bold and Courageous

My friends would say I am a bold and courageous woman. On a good day, I would say they are right. If I look at my life objectively, which is of course, nearly impossible, I notice a pattern of doing things on the bold side. If you ask me why this is so, I couldn’t say really. There is no question in my mind however; I am a woman who goes after what she wants in life.

My favorite 5th grade teacher, Miss Hayden gave us a homework assignment to write a short essay about what we wanted to be when we grew up. I remember having a hard time with the assignment, unsure at age 11 what I wanted my future to look like. Actually, things haven’t changed that much since 5th grade. There are days I’m still unsure of what I want to do with my life. Having been the “take school seriously” type and struggling to sort out my future, I went to my dad to get some advice and help. My dad has always been a great resource to help me see something from a different angle and think more deeply about key issues and topics.

Forty years later, I still remember that moment clear as a bell, …..where we were, what time of day it was, who was in the room… Every detail about that moment is etched forever in my memory. My dad said, “You can be anything you want when you grow up, honey. You can grow up and be a garbage collector, a teacher, even the President of the United States.” “Wow”, I thought, “Dad’s are so smart and know everything, so I guess what he said must be true. I can do and be anything I want in life, isn’t that great!” And so began my journey towards figuring out what I want and how to go about getting it.

I like this part of me. It’s one of my gifts and talents, this assuredness that if I want it badly enough, I can figure it out. I feel strong, powerful, and, on a good day, in charge of my own destiny. Thanks dad!

Over the past few years, my friends began asking me to help them become more courageous in areas of their lives where they felt blocked and stuck. I love helping people get what they want. I love seeing their results. And most of all, I love how they seem newly transformed into powerful, self-confident individuals, as they find out things that make them happy and delighted with a part of their life that previously felt miserable and frustrating.

I've decided to put down on paper the secrets to my bold moves. Maybe those reading this blog will benefit somehow in their own lives. Stay tuned.

Did you know?

Wow, this youtube clip on the changes in technology is astounding. It makes me wonder where to use which piece to market my businesses and grow personally. What do you all think about this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ILQrUrEWe8

Cindy's Blog #3

The fear is gripping me again. I am excited to have one person registered for my September Group Coaching program. And, I’ve sent out an email message to the wonderful people on my mailing list. I’ve posted the event on my facebook page and invited all my friends. I need to plan a preview call but WHAT IF NO ONE COMES???? I’m picturing a full group, I’m excited about what I know to be the value of what I do but I can’t seem to get past my fear... my fear that I can’t express the value in a way that is compelling and will cause people to register. I know that my fear and doubt is creating exactly the negative energy that will get in my way! I know I need to create positive energy and vision. But, I also have to DO some things. . What’s wrong with me? Am I lazy? Am I not committed? I’m afraid it won’t all work out and it has me frozen in my tracks again! I need an partner or buddy... someone to walk beside me in this. But for now... I need to walk away and get some space from it.

Toxins in our Cosmetics

What are all those chemicals in your shampoo? Your lipstick? Your aftershave? Some of them are linked to cancer, birth defects, infertility and other health problems. But right now, you can help clean up our cosmetics!

This short video got my attention. So much so that I wrote a letter to my congressman and senators! I'd be interested in your thoughts and reactions.

Summer Retreat

Our 4th annual summer retreat was special. The topic was 9 Steps to Creating Your Next Bold Move and was based on 20 years of making my own personal and professional bold moves and identifying the components that made the successful ones work. Participants spent the day identifying what they really care about and following my unique process of blending masculine and feminine, linear and creative, task and spirit-ful energies put a plan into the beginning stage of action for themselves. It was really inspiring to hear each woman as she shared her story of what she was committing to next.

The day was stunning. We ate. We swam. We drummed and sang by the bonfire led by Mary Elizabeth Wheeler. We worked in groups to create our future (sometimes our groups met in the water as it was such a hot day). And we basked in the support and community of women who are changing the world with their own unique touch.

See the photo gallery of our day.

Cindy's Blog #2

Click here to watch Cindy's TV episode

Is cherry picking OK?

Wendy, Mel and Kelly made some great suggestions. But still, I am uneasy. I feel a bit like I’m ‘cherry picking’. And maybe that’s ok. Let me explain. Cherry picking is when you take some parts of a lesson or situation and use it and ignore the rest. Usually, the parts you pick are the easier, more comfortable, less risky things. When you cherry pick, you avoid doing some things that might be just the right thing to do. In my situation, I paid a marketing expert a lot of money to teach me how to market my group coaching programs successfully. Now I’m thinking, who am I to not USE the information I paid her to give me? Can I be successful, taking bits and pieces of her advice and discarding the rest? It reminds me of the following story...

There was a very religious man named Jim, who lived near a river. One day, the river rose over the banks and flooded the town, and Jim was forced to climb onto his porch roof. While sitting there, a man in a boat came along and told Jim to get in the boat with him. 
Jim said, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me." 
So, the man in the boat drove off. 
The water rose higher, so Jim climbed onto his roof. At that time, another boat came along, and the person in that one told Jim to get in. 
Jim replied, "No, that's okay. God will take care of me." 
The person in the boat then left. 
The water rose even more, and Jim climbed onto his chimney. A helicopter came along and lowered a ladder for him. The woman in the helicopter told Jim to climb up the ladder and get in. 
Jim said, "That's okay." 
The woman said, "Are you sure?" 
Jim replied, "Yeah, I'm sure God will take care of me." 
Finally, the water rose too high and Jim drowned. Jim got to heaven and was face-to-face with God. 
Jim said to God, "You told me that you would take care of me! What happened?" 
God replied, "Well, I sent you two boats and a helicopter. What else did you want?"

I think the answer is that I need to follow the expert’s advice but be sure that I write in my own voice! And, it just occurred to me that I need to be sure to use other methods besides just mailing to my current list to spread the word about my program.

I’m still holding on to the fear that I won’t have at least 5 participants!

I’m realizing that actually clarifying my fear is not easy. What am I REALLY afraid of? Other’s judgments? Who will know? My own self judgment? Hmmm....

Cindy's Blog #1

It's All About the Fear.
See and hear me talk about my fear.

Fear. I’m a coach. I support people to blast through their fears in order to make the changes they want to make, be their best selves and fulfill their dreams. And, I’m pretty good at it. So, as an ‘expert’, I have this expectation that I’m not supposed to feel fear myself. But I do. I guess it’s true what they say… ‘we teach what we most need to learn.’

Sometimes it feels like fear owns me. I’m afraid of a lot of things… I’m afraid of being outside alone in the dark, I’m afraid of my kids getting hurt or worse, I’m afraid of what others will think, I’m afraid of others being angry with me, I’m afraid of failure, I’m afraid of success… you get the picture. And, I’m really afraid that people will find out how afraid I am. Well, I guess I just let that cat out of the proverbial bag!

So, I’m going to blog about my fear here over the next month in order to see what happens when I express my fears in the hope that readers will offer their thoughts and experiences and advice and in the hope that in sharing them, I can ‘right-size’ them.

So, here’s a very real fear that I am feeling right now. I am running an awesome group coaching program beginning in September. I know it is awesome because I have run it before and the feedback was all really positive. But I’m afraid that I won’t do the right things to market and fill it and when the day comes to kick it off, I’ll be talking to myself. Last time I ran it with only 2 people. It was great but it was small. Marketing experts have a whole long strategy for how to market online and it just doesn’t feel authentic and comfortable to me. So, I don’t want to do it the way they say… bombarding people with frequent email messages, long emails describing the readers pain so that they want to register to get relief, tweeting several times a day to draw attention and traffic to my registration page. I just want to send out a gentle, sincere invitation and explanation of the program and have people say, “Wow, that sounds great. I could really benefit from that and I like Cindy’s style. I think I’ll sign up.”

So here’s where fear creeps in. I’m afraid if I don’t ‘follow the rules’ set out by the marketing pros (some of whom I’ve paid significant sums of money to learn from) I won’t be successful filling the group. But, if I do, I will annoy people, come across as insincere and like a used car saleswoman, and I won’t fill the group that way either. So, fear has me paralyzed. I find myself thinking about it a lot and doing nothing.

Sound familiar? What do you think I should do?

See my episode on fear on Wake up with Wendy TV.

Donna's Final Blog Post

Well, I want to thank you for your comments and for the opportunity to “blog”. A first for me! I continue my journey and have appreciated, and will continue to appreciate all of the fabulous support I have in my life. I have truly realized that this is a life journey. The food, exercise, self image, mind control, etc. is all part of it. It is a discovery of who I am today and who I want to be in the future. I am so appreciative of this journey and continue to learn each step of the way.

As this is my final blog for now (new month – new guest at The Magic Parties), I would like to leave you with a few thoughts. First, if you are contemplating a weight loss journey, believe in yourself and get the support and program you need to make it happen. I know you may have failed at it before but look at those failures as learning experiences – a speaker I heard once said something like, “Recognize that what your great success was, was how to gain weight and stay alive and involved in your life.” Now you can make a new success. Go easy on yourself. A more practical thought is to weigh yourself regularly. Don’t let your brain get in the way (or weigh J). Stay on top of things. Remember to set the boundaries and make clear requests of the people you love to support and to let you know (the way you ask them to) when things look as though they are a bit out of control. Lastly, don’t go it alone. Whatever your faith may be, call on your higher power, your Heavenly Father, to guide you and help you on this most important journey. He wants what is best for you as He has given you many gifts and talents. He wants you to love yourself enough to develop and embrace your many talents! God also wants us to ask for his help and guidance. I could not be on this journey without my Heavenly Father’s guidance and wisdom to keep me strong.

I would like to end with words from a song that my brother-in-law, Ron Iacopucci (Ronderosa.com) has written. I keep it posted on my computer and reflect on it daily. These words are “Make everyday a lifetime. Live for the moments that take your breath away.” May your life continue to be full of moments that take your breath away!

Donna's blog #4

Donna and her friend, "Sarah"!

Howdy friends – well it was an interesting week returning from my trip having had to make many food decisions as I shared earlier. Most recently I had some “aha” moments around both food and friends. When you take on such a large goal to lose a lot of weight over a period of time it becomes an event. When you are brave enough to share your efforts with friends and family, seeking their support, they become part of your journey – both in a good way and a bit of a challenging way. For those of you who have struggled with food and weight management, we know that it really is not about the food but around our brains! It is all the debilitating thinking that goes on, the beating ourselves up, the lack of trust in ourselves to actually attain our weight goals and then be able to maintain them, the mindset of “Oh, I blew it so I might as well blow it even more”, etc….

So let me first say, it is most important that we have the support from our friends and family and then let me say that it is also important that we set boundaries for their involvement in our food choices and weight management. In some ways, our friends/families watch us more closely, worry about our well-being, and are quick to “not trust us”. They may watch us at a gathering and think, “Oh, no, she ate this and that, I wonder if she is out of control.” That critical eye is the last thing many of us need. We are critical enough of ourselves.

I would like to share a situation that occurred with one of my most dearest friends in the world. Immediately after a social event, I received a loving call from my friend, Sarah (name changed J). Sarah is truly one of my most supportive, uplifting and loving girlfriends. We talk about everything and she knows my weight challenges well. She loves me and wants the best for me. In that loving spirit she called and asked me a question that truly gave me reason to pause. She asked me what level of support and sharing I would like from her around my weight management, particularly around sharing her concerns about my eating when we are together (my words – her essence of what I heard). I told her I needed to think on that. Of course, then my mind goes into – “wow, did she see something this evening that I didn’t?” “Am I a loser again on this front?” “I wish I never shared, that is all I need now is someone watching my every morsel and feeling like I am under a microscope.” UGGGHHHHH! The dilemma of wanting and needing support and keeping everything completely private so no one can have an opinion! J

One of the things Sarah shared was that she was surprised to see me have a sliver of cake at a girlfriend gathering (so I did have a sliver of cake). What I shared was that I am learning some great things on my program. It was not the sliver of cake that would be my problem. It would be the meaning I would attach to having that sliver. Would it then go into, “I failed”, “I have no control so I might as well blow my whole program” and then keep going on eating binges. An emotional eating counselor from my program shared that how she wants us to handle these decisions, is more that “I made this decision to eat X, it is okay, it is not going to set me off, I am in charge of my own decisions, no obsessing over it, let it go…. Get back on track immediately…” That is what I had done until I heard from Sarah. Though I knew it came from a loving heart, I heard it as “I don’t trust you….I think you could easily gain it all back……I love you and need to stop you from hurting yourself…” My rational mind said – she just loves you and wants to help you.

So, after much thought, I think I am realizing that making my needs clear is what I need to do for those people who love me and support me on my weight loss journey. So for those of you who read this and love me here is what I need -----

What I need is tons of positive support, ideas for making it work in my life. If, which I am committed to not having this happen, I begin to gain weight back and look as though I am eating “in reckless abandonment”, please ask for a separate conversation, not connected to what I just ate but instead the bigger picture, and ask how you can support me to get back on track because you know how much my health and wellbeing means to me. Examining what I eat at each gathering with an eye and question toward “oh, should I stop her now, is this bad?” does not help me. The lack of trust makes me question my own trust in myself. I am working at managing my food. I know what I ate, my exercise, how I prepared for eating that day. What Sarah did not know, was the amount of discussion that went on in my head about every morsel that I ate at the gathering. Choices that I was actually proud of – choosing more grilled veggies, putting back some broiled potatoes so I could just have a small taste and leave some calories for cake. I knew what I could allow, I knew what I had all day, and made a conscious, though hard decision about the sliver of cake as opposed to throwing all caution to the wind and just eating.

So my advice to those who love someone who is on a weight loss journey is to love them, support them and demonstrate trust in their decisions. Recognize that there could be a time when we are weak and out of control. We need you then, too. You will see it over some time through eating and weight gain, attitude, sadness, etc.. At that point, step in with a bigger picture eye to help us get back on track before it becomes a bigger problem. The approach should be in a separate conversation, aimed at how important you know health is to us and asking how you can support us. Not about the food from that one situation.

Thank you to my friend, Sarah – for loving me so much that she wants me to lead my best life. Thank you to Sarah for making me reflect on what I really need for support. Thank you to Sarah for being the best friend anyone could ever have! Keep your friends and family close when you are on any major journey in your life. Keep the big picture in mind and continue to come from love -----and all will be well!

Donna's blog #3

Well, this week was a test in fortitude! I have been traveling on business. Client dinners each night and meals at the client sites in the day mad me quite aware of how important it is to prepare ahead of time, both mentally and physically. I used shakes during the day, which I brought. They were easy and nutritious and allowed me to stay on track. For my dinners, I chose fish, veggies and salad. One evening I treated myself to dessert – fresh strawberries (you thought I caved, huh?). I was proud of myself but also realized something very important. Mentally, I am not ready to make all the choices yet. Old emotions, habits, and thinking crept in. For a split second, I thought, “Oh, how much would it hurt to have a real dessert with my client – we are celebrating!” NOTTTTTT!!!!! Food does not need to be my reward. Still have much work on the mental side of things but I am feeling great. I wore business clothes that I had not worn in years ….and they were loose! Looking in the mirror, there were times I didn’t recognize myself. Still a long way to go but moving along…..

With the tests of this week, I was reminded of a quote I heard a diet program in my past that has stuck with me – “Nothing tastes as good as being thin and fit feels!”

With that, I wish all a great week! Any exercise tips are appreciated!

Warmly,
Donna

Your Next Bold Move

Today, I am creating our Magic Parties summer retreat. The topic is 9 Steps to Creating Your Next Bold Move. I am very curious as to why sometimes we are able to make bold moves in our lives and other times we are simply frozen stiff and not able to move at all. Those of us who are in a transition place in our lives are ready to create what's next, the next steps in our career or work, or to create something on the personal front where we feel we can make a bigger deeper difference. What better way than to figure out what our next move is going to look like? Did you know that when you don't get what you want, it is not because you need to clarify your vision, or increase your commitment. No. No. No. The place to look is in the current reality of what you are doing, thinking, saying and feeling. I am excited about coming up with a process to help people figure out this transition from the same old same old to loving something they are creating in their lives that they are over the top excited about. Imagine, waking up every day excited and joyful at the prospect of the day ahead.

Back to work for me. Creating is so much fun. Especially when it changes people's lives. How great is my job!?
p.s. I still have 3 openings left at our summer retreat if you think you might want to come.
p.s.s. What does this pic of me on the beach have anything to do with making a bold move? It reminds me of what it took and what steps were required in order to make this bold move of traveling to Hawaii a reality.

Donna's blog entry #2

I just returned from my wellness program. My program includes a meeting with a nurse, nutritionist, and doctor and then a class meeting with the rest of the group working toward wellness and weight management with me. The topic tonight was stress. How do we handle it in a more positive way instead of eating. The ideas were great and I especially loved an insight shared from a new friend in the program, Mary. She is seeing an “emotional eating” counselor. I spoke about my addiction to food and she stopped me and said that her counselor told her that in an effort to build a more healthy relationship with food, we should not refer to ourselves as addicts. Instead, we are passionate about food but are even more passionate about great health and wellness. I really liked that comment! Here is to my passion for health!!!

I had a great weight loss this week but was feeling a bit disappointed in myself around exercise. The nurse and nutritionist advised that I am doing great with the weight loss but the real key to keeping it off and maintaining a healthy lifestyle is regular exercise – planned and consistent. I know it and I am having such a hard time fitting it into an already very busy day! Two boys (11 & 13), full time job, husband, home, church activities, great friends, and sometimes just too much to fit in exercise!! I am setting my goal this week to do something exercise related at least 5 days this week. It is truly my weakness. I do not want to lose weight and then gain it back – I am done with fat and into healthy – so I really need advice and help to make exercise my regular thing!! Thanks for any thoughts you might have……

Donna blogs about her weight story - post #1

Hi Friends and Future Friends,
Well, I must say, I am not a great “blogger”, actually, I have never blogged but I am so passionate about the subject of weight management and its impact on women’s lives, that I agreed to blog after appearing on the Wake Up With Wendy show.
So here goes….. I am sharing my journey with you in the hopes that my story might in some way inspire, comfort, reassure or provide you an opportunity to explore within yourself, how your weight has impacted the life you lead. My story is one that probably will sound like most. Nothing too exciting but it sure is impactful to me! Essentially, I have always thought I was fat! Even when I wasn’t, I thought I was. At age 18 and through much of my twenties, I ranged from 125-137 and was almost 5’6” tall. I had a great figure and worried A LOT about what I ate and how I looked. I married my high school sweetheart and before I knew it, the weight started creeping on. First it was because I loved to cook and my husband really appreciated my cooking. Over time, food became my drug of choice. When I was happy – I ate! When I was sad or upset – I ate! When I was frustrated or angry – I ate! When life was stressful – I ate! Work, life, marriage, kids – I ate! When my doctor labeled me as obese and said my cholesterol needed significant lowering it truly was a wake up call. I want my children to grow up with a healthy mother!!
So here is what I am not going to blog on – my diet program. It does not matter what I am doing to lose the weight. There are many programs out there that can help us lose weight. The key is to find the one that works best for you and that has the support on all aspects of our struggle! I think it is critical to find a program that addressed all of the many aspects of weight management and wellness – food choices, nutrition information, exercise, mental well-being, etc.
So, please blog me with your thoughts, experiences, struggles, and insights. We can all help each other through this challenging struggle.
Where I would love insights and help is on exercise. How do you make it a true part of your life? I am so much better at it now but am far from in it as a regular daily habit. I know that it is the key to permanent weight loss. Any insights or ideas from you all?

Completely Unplugging is a Challenge

I tried it last year on vacation and failed. I promised myself I would not turn on my laptop or check my email for a week last year on vacation and only made it three days! How sad is that? Most of you are probably thinking, what the heck is she doing with her laptop on vacation? And that would be the right question.

I am so addicted to my email and my phone. I know I am not alone but that doesn't make it any easier knowing I have company in the addiction arena. I swore this time, I would do better. I started by leaving my lap top at home. Which may not seem like a big deal but my husband brought his and we were traveling with another couple and they EACH brought theirs. I was determined to leave mine behind and not use theirs. And once we left Miami for the Caribbean, I turned off my blackberry, promising myself I would not turn it back on until we returned a week later.

I did it!

I felt proud of myself. I was so less stressed. My acid reflux totally disappeared. I watched the ocean more and walked on the beach more while the others were checking in with work and their emails. I read a book and a half. And most of all I rested physically and mentally. It was good for me. I really needed it.

And it was worth the 500 emails I had waiting for me. So what it took 4 days to get through them all!

It was not easy and might take some practice to actually be able to do it again. But the rewards have me optimistic for July 4th weekend, my next foray into totally unplugging electronically.

Dieting, Weight Loss and Health Management

Click to Play

Panel: Wendy Capland, Founder of The Magic Parties and CEO of Vision Quest Consulting with Kate Harper of Kate Harper Coaching, and Melanie Holden of Physica Center for Healing and Education.

Special Guest: Donna Iacopucci

The Yummy-ness of girlfriends!

What is the magic that girlfriends bring to each other? What is so special about the girlfriends in our lives?

I would be interested in your thoughts so comment back to me right here on the blog.

Paula journals 5-23-10

Why is it that whenever I go to seminar or meeting at the Career Center (Office of Workforce Development / Unemployment) I leave feeling much worse than when I arrived ?? There was an e-mail sent out regarding a two hour seminar on schooling to become a Phlebotomist and since I have been interested in getting involved in the medical field I thought "what great timing & what a great career". After the initial basic info was given the remainder of the 1/2 hour the meeting lasted was us being told how most of us would not qualify. (there were approx 20 in attendance and only 5 slots open) and again because of my "marketable skills" she doubted I would even be considered. WHAT ????? Don't these people live in the real world ?? Don't they know what it's like out there ?? And why do they have to be all doom and gloom all the time ?? Not only is it very humbling to be out of work and have to attend these meetings, but it is sooooo depressing having to be in such a negative environment. These workers need to get a clue and realize that although they are there to help us that they are doing the complete opposite - they are taking all the wind right out of our sails. The only good thing that came of this meeting was that I spoke to two other women - one has been out of work for over a year and the other has been out for almost two years and we all had the same feeling - we thought we were the only ones out there that have been out for so long and we all think that we must be doing something wrong to have bee unemployed for so long - especially with the feedback we get from this office. Oh well - onward and upward ??

My other dilemma I have had the past couple of weeks is when do you cross the line between being pro-active in your job search and being too aggressive ?? I applied for a job several weeks ago and whenever I have called to follow-up I have been given one excuse after the other - "I was on vaca", "Mothers Day set us back", "It has been an unusually busy week" always with the promise of a return call - guess what - no return call. I then received an e-mail from this company with a listing of all their job opportunities and the initial ones that I applied for are still on the list. How far do I push it - when do I try to escalate it to another person ?? At what point do I just "give up" and move on ?? This has been the issue right along - once I find a job opportunity that I would really like and apply to it - there is no response, no matter how many times you follow up. What gives ??

Being unemployed and having the lack of income and medical benefits has been extremely difficult, but it has taught me some valuable lessons. You realize that you can do without so much of what you thought you "needed" and still be happy with what you DO have. You downsize, cut back, re-group, re-think, and learn to live a much simpler life style which has been refreshing. BUT - what does one do when the unemployment runs out and you hit the bottom of the barrel - what then ?? That is where I stand right now - getting VERY nervous about that day and will I find some type of employment prior to that happening ??

Wish me luck as I continue my search as I wish you all luck in your searches - whatever they may be.

Paula

Coaching Conference

I'm at this great conference in New Mexico this week called Conversation Among Masters (CAM). It's designed specifically for master level coaches. Today I learned the real skinny about blogging from Jory des Jardins, who is a media consultant and co-founder of BlogHer. Haven't heard of BlogHer? BlogHer is the largest community of women who blog and they get 20+ million unique visitors per month! She was a good person to listen and learn from. Holy moley, my head is spinning with ideas!

Paula journals 5-11-10

I'm baaaaack:

I had to take a few days off - back-up, clear my head and re-group. I need to rethink my exact goals, needs, ambitions and abilities. I need to think about what I "must" do versus what I "want" to do and possibly combine the two. I am sure that I don't really want to spend my time sitting in a cubicle, staring at a computer with a phone to my ear. Although I have always been good at it I'm sure that is no longer my life long career goal - butttt. Other than that, my two choices were something in the medical field or something in the animal care field. I thought the animal care field would be easier and more realistic at this "stage of my life" but so far I'm finding that this might not be the case. I'm wondering if maybe I need to find a job that will fulfill my "needs" and maybe do my animal work on the side, maybe on a volunteer basis to fulfill my "wants" ???? I might have the opportunity to work in the home care field. I'm also going to a seminar on becoming a Phlebotomist. I can only keep all my options open at this point and maybe - just maybe the healthcare option might be my better option??

My goal for this week is to research some networking options. I LUV attending the "Girls Night Out" meetings and some of the connections I've made, but it only being once a month leaves a void. I've been advised to keep networking as much as possible because you never know when you'll come across someone or something that will open doors for you. My old High School has an Alumni networking group, I'm also going to check local libraries and a couple of other leads I've been given. Hopefully I'll have some exciting news in my next blog.

Till then - keep reaching for the stars !!

Paula journals 5-6-10

SUPPORT - whatever thoughts or images this word congers up for you - NEVER underestimate it's power !!!!

There are many types of support out there - some women might see their Mom as their support or have a best friend - or maybe even several best friends, a loving spouse or significant other, or even a pet, maybe they belong to a support group, and some of you might just be lucky enough to have it ALL. Whatever "it" is that you use for support, it's power is amazing. Support can mean many different things and come in many different forms. Whether it's to put a smile on your face on a bad day or to give you a bigger smile on a good day, someone to tell you that everything is going to be ok or maybe someone to tell it to you straight. Someone to chat with, shop with, share the good and the bad, explore the future, reminisce about the past. Whatever the system you have and however you use "it", "it" has amazing powers and should be used generously.

During my time of being unemployed I have been lucky enough to have several good friends that are very supportive, kind & caring, especially over the past several months as I research my "re-invention" opportunities. I can call and chat with them, get together for dinner, even have a "put your head together and hash this out conversation". I have also been VERY lucky in connecting with a wonderful group of women thru "The Magic Parties, Girls Night Out" events. This is a group of amazing women who come together to both give and receive support, knowledge, friendship, ideas, and inspiration. This has been such a positive, uplifting experience for me. I have received more than I ever could have anticipated and hope that I have helped make the day of someone else along the way. So, you women out there, reach out to the friends you have and to those who you don't realize are your friends yet.

"We Women have a sixth sense about each other's needs. We understand the value of a comforting word, a heartfelt prayer, a reassuring smile . . . a quart of Rocky Road" ("Just us Girls, written by Julie Sutton)

Paula

Paula journals 5-3-10

Ahhh - the saga continues !!

In my first two blogs I mentioned going to a meeting to see if I could qualify for funding so I could attend school. At this meeting the opinion was that I have too many viable skills to qualify for any schooling. I did receive a follow-up phone call and - yes - they feel that the Accounting field is doing well, and with the skills I have in Credit, Collections and Accounts Receivable they feel I should be able to find a job in the Accounting arena. I again asked about updating my computer skills and they advised they would re look at that request, but if they did approve my request they have no funds for any programs until July.

I just pulled up a list of open jobs in the accounting field and checked out EVERYthing that was close to me geographically - how depressing. Most everything required degrees and/or skills that I don't posses. I even checked out part-time positions which I would not be opposed to at this point and I did find one that sounded very interesting - but - at 8 to 16 hours max a week - well - needless to say - I don't think that would fit the bill. I'm also signed up with several employment agencies and did an updated interview with one a couple of weeks ago. They advised me that the temp jobs are rapidly picking up and I should look forward to seeing some results soon. That was over two weeks ago and no a word back from them. SURPRISE - I just got a phone call from an agency - and - yes - they are working on things, but nothing that fits my needs at the moment. HMMMMM - ok - 18 months and counting !!!

I had a thought last week that maybe starting at the retail level would not only give me a job but good exposure at the same time !! I went on-line for a major pet store chain and went thru their application process and after 45 min I got to the end - only to have to answer a 90 question test - not only for one position but for all 5 positions that I showed an interest in (per their instructions)!! - ok - that was it for me. The next day I went to one of the store locations to speak to someone directly. The first women I spoke to was pleasant and tried to assist me - but - the Manger couldn't have been any more rude if he tried. One of the sales staff spoke up and advised that they weren't even hiring anyway and when I questioned about the open positions on their website she stated again that they were not hiring - again - very rude. This may be the store "where the pets go" but rest assured this is one place this pet owner will NOT go !!!

A couple of days later I went to a store of another major pet store chain and what a difference - everyone I spoke to was very pleasant and helpful. They were in fact hiring and advised that I go to their website to complete the application process and then someone gave me a business card and suggested I call to follow-up in a few days which I will do tomorrow. Wish me luck - again.

Ahhhhh the frustrations of being unemployed, job hunting, and just trying to get thru each and every day and keep a positive outlook.

A very special and smart person shared the following saying with me and I have it posted next to my computer and read it each time I'm at my desk - I hope it helps you as much as it is helping me.

" Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach" (Tom Robbins)

Till next time !!

Paula journals 5-1-10

Click here to watch Paula on TV tell her story.

Hello Again (isn't that a song ? )

Well - to follow-up with you all - I went to the orientation at the MSPCA, Nevins Farm, Methuen, MA on Sunday and when I walked away after a full three hours all I could say and think was - WOW !!!!!! What an amazing facility and operation they have. This shelter has been in operation since the 1800's and currently takes in over 7,000 animals per year - and to think there are only approx 20 employees - EVERYthing else is done strictly by volunteers - 450 of them to be exact. The "Shelter Animals" break down into three groups, 1) Dogs, 2) Cats and 3) Small Mammals - which would be Bunnies, Ferrets, Birds, etc. - basically anything else that's not a dog or a cat. I first went into this with the thought of working with Dogs, but after listening to the people speak and taking the tour I decided to work with the Small Mammals - specifically the Bunnies. I made this decision because they had the greater need for volunteers and it is the area where I have the least comfort & knowledge - so I thought what better time to fill a need and learn something new at the same time.

I went back to the MSPCA today (Wednesday) for my Mentor Session. I'm not sure what I expected but I'm sure it wasn't cleaning out bunny cages for three full hours - but when I finished it felt sooooo good. I am even more impressed than I was on Sunday. What an incredible system they have -the facility, the animals, EVERYthing is so neat, clean, orderly. There are specific ways of doing most everything and it works ! Again, I am totally impressed with the fact that this is all done with volunteers that do this out of the goodness of their hearts and for the love of the animals. Speaking of love - I laid eyes on a dog at the Adoption Center and I lost my heart to her - I sure hope this doesn't happen each time I go there ??

My next step is to pick a specific date & time to volunteer then go back in for another Mentor Session to learn a little more about the basics of Bunny care & behavior so I can spend time helping to socialize these adorable, furry, loveable little friends.

My quest continues as I try to keep my magic dreams alive !!!!!!

Paula

Paula's journal 4-29-10

Click here to watch Paula tell her story on TV.

Good Morning:

Have you ever had "those days" when you just know you should have stayed in bed with the covers over your head ?? When things just don't go as planned ?? When no matter how well intentioned you are - nothing seems to work ?? When you just want to yell out "WHY ME" ???? Ya, I've had a whole week of "those days" !! I knew when I started my journey the road would not be paved in gold - but - hey - give me a break already !!!

I checked out a couple of dog grooming schools and the price for training is something that I just can't afford on my own - so - I went to seminar on how to get financial assistance from the state for unemployed individuals - and - I don't qualify because I have marketable skills as a Credit/Collections/AR Specialist and they want me to concentrate of those skills to get back into the work force :-( The next day I went to another seminar on how to save money in this downward economy. This was given by a Financial Advisor and although he appeared very knowledgeable, his main focus was on investment strategies, etc - NOT what I was looking for :-( In the meantime I've been placing calls to local grooming salons in the area - trying to get some insight into the industry and maybe some helpful hints along the way - and - not a single one would speak with me or return my calls :-( I also sent out my resume and a cover letter to a number of Veterinary Clinics and the one that did respond has no opportunities for me but would hold onto my resume for future reference - I guess that's a better response than I have been getting :-) !!

I can only hope that better days are ahead - well - I know they are - because I start me week off with going to an orientation at the MSPCA. I signed up to be a volunteer with the MSPCA and I am also going to look into the possibility of being a foster for animals. I'll let you know how that pans out.

So wish me luck and keep those magic dreams alive !!!!

Thanks, Paula

How to Deal with Being Out of Work

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Panel: Wendy Capland, Founder of The Magic Parties and CEO of Vision Quest Consulting with Jen Cohen of Seven Stones Leadership, Kate Harper of Kate Harper Coaching, and Melanie Holden of Physica Center for Healing and Education. Special Guest: Paula Field
Paula has been out of work for a year and a half and talks about the challenges she is facing and how she is trying to sort through her options and make some hard decisions. Our expert team helps her along her hard journey to get re-employed.

You may be able to help Paula. Watch her show, read about her journey and follow her as she blogs about it. You can post a comment and give her ideas, resources or just a shot of inspiration as she moves forward.

. She will be thankful for your support, right Paula?

Paula's Story: Hello & welcome to my first official blog entry.

I started on my journey to "re-invent" myself after attending my first "Girls Night Out" gathering on January 4, 2010, aptly titled "re-inventing yourself" - so - I made a resolution for the new year to change what I was doing out of necessity and to do what I really wanted to do - what I am passionate about, and my passion would be to work with animals. I have done a lot of research, looking into Grooming Schools, Vet Tech training and any other opportunities available. I have had a lot of ups and just as many downs over the last several months. One of the highlights of my journey was when I was invited to join a wonderful group of women and be a guest on the local cable show "Waking up with Wendy". I was thrilled and excited with this opportunity as well as - should I say - a tad bit nervous over the prospect of being on television and sharing my story with others. The show was taped last week and it went just g-r-e-a-t !!! It was like sitting around talking to a group of gal pals, and I'm hoping that I might be able to inspire others as I have been inspired by the women at "Girls Night Out". My journey continues tomorrow with a meeting regarding possible funding so I can pursue this dream of mine.

Keep those magic dreams alive !! Thanks, Paula

Marry Your Passion and Your Work

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Guest: Sue Blaney Sue Blaney is an author and speaker. Sue shares her story about moving from working in the fast lane for an advertising firm and realized through a life crises that she was working too hard and was missing out on spending enough time with her family. She used this crises moment in her life to re-invent herself and her work. Sues story is helpful if you are someone looking to re-create your work life and will help you answer the question, Is what youre doing what you want to be doing? Sues work can be found at www.PleaseStoptheRollercoaster.com

Keeping Yourself Healthy Through Food

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Guest: Debra Stark

Debra Stark is just another woman on the search for balance, harmony and a good piece of chocolate.

Debra's Natural Gourmet - Our Store

Debra will be a host on our TV show next month, which we are taping today. I get some of my favorite recipes from her new cookbook and love going into the store to get just about anything I need. It's so nice to have such a fabulous local natural food store. I feel blessed to live so close.

Debra's Natural Gourmet - Our Store

Changing Face of Women's Leadership Conference

Wendy Capland, Martha Miser and Miriam Hawley are co-facilitating The 2nd Annual Changing Face of Women’s Leadership Conference, on May 20th in Cambridge, MA for senior business women exploring their personal & professional leadership. http://tinyurl.com/yedogn3

Balancing Work with Your Passion

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Join our guest Barry Levy,

January news!

Check out our Magic Parties Jan news http://tinyurl.com/yeeqdqo