It's All About the Fear.
See and hear me talk about my fear.
Fear. I’m a coach. I support people to blast through their fears in order to make the changes they want to make, be their best selves and fulfill their dreams. And, I’m pretty good at it. So, as an ‘expert’, I have this expectation that I’m not supposed to feel fear myself. But I do. I guess it’s true what they say… ‘we teach what we most need to learn.’
Sometimes it feels like fear owns me. I’m afraid of a lot of things… I’m afraid of being outside alone in the dark, I’m afraid of my kids getting hurt or worse, I’m afraid of what others will think, I’m afraid of others being angry with me, I’m afraid of failure, I’m afraid of success… you get the picture. And, I’m really afraid that people will find out how afraid I am. Well, I guess I just let that cat out of the proverbial bag!
So, I’m going to blog about my fear here over the next month in order to see what happens when I express my fears in the hope that readers will offer their thoughts and experiences and advice and in the hope that in sharing them, I can ‘right-size’ them.
So, here’s a very real fear that I am feeling right now. I am running an awesome group coaching program beginning in September. I know it is awesome because I have run it before and the feedback was all really positive. But I’m afraid that I won’t do the right things to market and fill it and when the day comes to kick it off, I’ll be talking to myself. Last time I ran it with only 2 people. It was great but it was small. Marketing experts have a whole long strategy for how to market online and it just doesn’t feel authentic and comfortable to me. So, I don’t want to do it the way they say… bombarding people with frequent email messages, long emails describing the readers pain so that they want to register to get relief, tweeting several times a day to draw attention and traffic to my registration page. I just want to send out a gentle, sincere invitation and explanation of the program and have people say, “Wow, that sounds great. I could really benefit from that and I like Cindy’s style. I think I’ll sign up.”
So here’s where fear creeps in. I’m afraid if I don’t ‘follow the rules’ set out by the marketing pros (some of whom I’ve paid significant sums of money to learn from) I won’t be successful filling the group. But, if I do, I will annoy people, come across as insincere and like a used car saleswoman, and I won’t fill the group that way either. So, fear has me paralyzed. I find myself thinking about it a lot and doing nothing.
Sound familiar? What do you think I should do?
See my episode on fear on Wake up with Wendy TV.
4 comments:
I'm afraid of riding on a roller coaster or any amusement park ride, which makes me no fun at all when we went as a family to Six Flags, Disney, Universal, Canobie Lake Park, Nantucket Beach, etc. I'm afraid of walking alone in a parking garage at night. For years I slept with scissors under my pillow at night when my husband was out of town on business. I never got over the roller coaster one. I think almost falling out at Nantasket Beach riding with Michael Kovner next to me, when I was 14 and on a junior high school field trip just did me in for life. However, I carry protection now when I walk in a parking garage and am "on alert" and I just gave up the scissors as I finally got used to sleeping alone.
My thoughts on fear today seems to be, take steps to deal with it. You'll feel better. When I put the scissors under my pillow, I felt a lot better, even though it's kinda stupid in retrospect. So the question back to you is, What can you do that will make you feel better?" And do that.
You are a highly intuitive woman Cindy. My suggestion is to sit down with your journal and ask the marketing fairies how to market on the web in a way that is consistent with who you are, yet gets the message out in a way that causes registrations. Where does the information come from? maybe your own psyche - a processing and refinement of your feelings and deep wisdom, worldly experience, and things you'd like to try. when you ask the question "How do I do this in the way we stated above", the information rises to the surface in just the right way. Kind of like using a search engine on the computer. you get what you ask for. And, maybe it really does come from the fairies. when I am afraid, I take all the help I can get! Good luck. Let us know how it goes!
Fear is a funny thing. Sometimes I think fear is a good thing - our radar is up, we're on alert and know we need to trust our instincts. However, to your earlier point, sometimes it paralyzes you from doing really great things. I can empathize because there are times I've let fear do that to me. I've learned over time that it's always best, for me, to take a deep breath and begin with baby steps. You've spent a lot of time, money, energy on learning ways to market your business, your programs, etc... I agree with Melanie. Review all you've learned, journal if that makes sense for you, and start with the things that feel authentic for you. There is nothing wrong with letting the world now what you're up to. You are offering an amazing program and sharing your gifts and by not marketing that, you are limiting the number of people who will get the chance to experience your program and your gifts. Nelson Mandela once said, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.....We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" I say, go for it and find the things that feel best and authentic to you and let the world know what it is you're up to. We need you! Good luck - let me know if I can help.
Ok! I did it... I just scheduled my first mailing to my mailing list. And, I got the courage to do it from all of you who commented on my blog posts. I realize, I have to do what's authentic for me. And I have to do something. And, if it doesn't work, I'll try something different. How bad can it be? I feel good because I've done something, taken some positive action and with your support, I realize, it isn't about right and wrong, it's about what works and doesn't and even that isn't absolute. So, I'll try what feels right for me today and see how it works out, and then, I'll keep tweaking it until I get it "just right"... a combination of authentic and effective! Stay tuned. And, by the way, if you want to learn more about the program I am inviting my clients to attend, you can learn about it at www.changechampion.com.
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