Maybe It's Already Inside Me

By now you know me. I’m the girl who is obsessed with figuring out her life purpose. And as usual, I have been thinking about it a lot lately, again. The topic seems to be popping up everywhere I turn. Over the past 10 weeks, Oprah has had a live web teleclass with author Eckhart Tolle who has most recently written the book, A New Earth; Awakening to Your Life Purpose. Although I have not yet read the book, I listened faithfully for 10 weeks hoping to find a clue to my own journey. And I wasn’t alone as somewhere around 2 million people around the world participated in this teleclass. Through my own participation of this work, things in my life started to shift. More on that in a minute.

In addition to listening to Oprah and Eckhart’s eye opening deep discussion each week, I attended a Magic School program through our organization, run by my friend the yummy, spiritual teacher and healer Melanie Calitri Holden. This program gave us the tools, actually four really powerful tools, to clear out blockages and icky-ness in our bodies, minds and emotions for the purpose of hearing and experiencing the Divine within us. Participants and I spent a whole day practicing how to do these four things and without much effort at all, I came home and just integrated them into my every day life. More shift. In fact, after this program I felt as if cells on the inside of my body had shifted to a new awareness, a new awakening, and a new way of looking at stuff I had been doing for years without much thought. All in a good way.

So between Eckhart Tolle and Magic School, I am feeling like a new woman, with a new set of eyes.

So what does this have to do with life purpose?

I am now wondering if I should be looking for my life purpose on the inside of me versus outside like in my work or career. What if my life purpose is already inside me and part of me, and always has been and I just did not know it. I always thought life purpose was something to get to, to do, and to accomplish and now I wonder if it is more an internal, within myself kind of thing versus an external expression of who I am. Not that having an outside expression of who we are is a bad thing; it’s probably a really good thing too. What if all these years I have been searching and trying to find IT, find out what IT is and instead the IT I have been searching for has been within me all along? What if there is nothing to discover at all? What if the first step for all of us is just to prepare ourselves to hear and feel IT? What if the busy-ness most of us run our lives prevents us from knowing our life purpose?

And now I wonder what if the way in which I have been living has blocked me and clogged me up so that I could not be available for my life purpose to shine through and stay long enough for me to know that IT IS already. What if the wine and the martinis I love to drink, the junk food I put in my mouth and then convince my self is not really all that bad, the lack of silence I experience as I have created a life of doing, doing, doing, and the emotional gymnastics I, and the little horrible invisible guy that sits on my shoulder who whispers incessantly into my ear, “You’re not all that special, confident, smart, or capable”. What if all of that stuff builds up within me and contributes to junking up the pathway to experiencing my life purpose and experiencing the Divine already within me? What if I cleaned out my act, as I learned how to do at Magic School? What if all there is to do is prepare myself to receive the gift already given me, as it says in the Beatitudes? I know I am meant to live in alignment with my life purpose. I know I am meant to hear the Divine whispering in my ear all the time, helping and guiding my next steps. I know once I do this, it will be so much easier to align what I do on the outside, for example in my work, my relationships, my home and my friendships with the “me” on the inside that is already living in her life purpose. And then it would just be a matter of living as me; the fabulous parts of me.

Knowing this has brought me a sense of peace inside and out. Which feels so much better than feeling like the busy whirling dervish I have just today tucked in for a long restful sleep, maybe even forever?

With blessings,

Wendy Capland, Creator of The Magic Parties

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