Motherhood and Faith

Hello! This is my first official blog entry….ever. I don’t just mean on “The Magic Party” blog, but my first official leap into the world of blogging. I am moved by my experiences within this community of women and the feelings of “centeredness” when I leave the Magic Parties. Is centeredness a word? Maybe a better way to say it is to just simply say I feel more connected to myself! At any rate, I am so moved that I want to reach out and try to share those feelings and experiences. I am usually an active participant at The Magic Parties, but this time, my body and spirit were so tired, I really went to the party to quiet my inner self and reconnect. I am a single mother who works full-time. My son is going to be 11 in two days. We have a hectic life and my work schedule is crazy. It’s been a little more hectic since about mid-December. I left the party on January 22^nd feeling refreshed and refocused. We talked about faith and fear. It’s interesting that faith is usually what can push us past many of our fears, and yet we still give in to so many of our fears. I have been worried, of late, about what kind of mother I am. Am I supporting my son enough or not enough? Am I teaching him how to be successful for the future or am I pushing too hard at times? What I realized is that I am afraid my son will not be successful and that it will be my fault for not teaching him all of the right things? Why am I focused on the future, especially in terms of college or beyond? He’s turning 11! I need to help him learn to do things on his own (in an age-appropriate manner), accept that he’s his own individual (he won’t like all of the same things I like) and he’ll choose what he wants to do in his life and the level of commitment he’ll apply to that. I am so fearful of not doing the right things for the future; I am missing out on the present. I am living in a fear-based place rather than a faith based place. He’s a great kid – he’s smart, creative and funny. I need to be the best Mom I can be, and yes, I’ll make mistakes along the way. The most important thing is I love him and I’m involved in his life. I just need to make sure I’m not “overly” involved. That is so much easier said than done I have a feeling, but I’m turning this over to faith. I’ve been told I’m really going to need a lot of faith when he hits his teenage years! I’ll work on it now and maybe in a few years I’ll be better equipped to manage through those challenges. I think I’ll end this blog with a quote I recently read. “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step.” - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. (1929-1968). That really hit home for me and they are words to live by! I don’t need to see where my son will be five years from now; I simply need to focus on taking one step and one day at a time. If I do that, I truly believe everything will work out. I have faith! Until my next blog, may your next step also be one filled with faith!

Posted by Kelly, Magic Party Council Member